I got my half for the rent already.I called the cops on the drug dealer neighbor and got a 500 bucks as a reward
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
Getting arrested together sounded so much more fun in theory.
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
The annual Father's Day Wake and Bake has been canceled due to lack of hustle.
I woke up with gum stuck to my nipple piercings this morning.. So there's that.
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
I just ate a handful of salt
I thought this was a good idea
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
How did i get home and why am i wearing someone elses shorts?
1. Not sure how 2. You showed up naked, we had to dress you.
Randomize
