Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
I think the sex offender registry is kind of a VIP list. You get to not live near noisy schools and parks and all your neighbors get to know you.
Bt dubs, I still have cuts on my arm from when you attacked me with a dildo on Saturday night.
Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
working out is totally making me break out.. i'm doomed to forever be either a butterface or a butterbod. there is no way out.
You're surprisingly coherent for someone who thinks her couch is breathing.
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
OH AND DAN PET MY CAT WHILE I WAS GIVING HIM HEAD
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos
I JUST NEEDED TO TELL YOU I JUST FUCKED TWO BOYS IN THE SPAN OF LIKE THREE HOURS AND ONE OF THEM WAS MY SISTERS PROM DATE FROM HIGH SCHOOL IM LOWKEY BOTH PROUD AND ASHAMED
Randomize