Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
So "Abstinence August" was a bust. Maybe I'll try for "Sex-free September" or "Only if we're facebook official October"
Can we dedicate this weekends marathon sexcapades to all the haters?
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
They wont sell alcohol here on election day! HOW THE FUCK DO THEY EXPECT ME TO ENJOY THE ELECTION SOBER?
I'm using my breathalyzer result sheet as a coaster for my 40.
Got dumped. Now accepting nominations for my extra Dave Mathews ticket. No xboyfriends. Must cast final votes by Monday. Good luck everyone
i hate going to her parties because i always know everyone there which means everyone knows my ex which means i wont get laid
Before he left he told me if his girlfriend ever finds out, she'll take us both to an alley and kill us.
I work 80 hours a week to prevent myself from just laying in bed and masturbating all day. It's a hands off strategy.
You were so drunk Last night you asked for your glasses so you could read the directions on a band aid
Randomize
