Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
My night sucks. It's really hard to masturbate with a broken finger.
I'm at Home Depot to get supplies to fix the wall we cracked by fucking too hard against the bookshelf.
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
I have hit nutritional rock bottom I am spreading peanut butter on to lays potato chips
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
Good thing my vagina doesn't have a chronometer on it. I'm sure my fiance would be horrified. Probably 10 miles from this past weekend alone.
it was just another one of those moments where you unfriendzone a friend you assumed to be gay
so go get some goddamn bacon and lay in his bed naked. he'll love it.
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
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