i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
Whenever I don't wipe thoroughly after shitting, I just think that anyone if anyone sticks their finger up my ass, they had it coming.
Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
Dude a guy just showed up with alcohol and a bag of double cheese burgers. I think I found my future husband.
I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps
dude all you wanted to do was sleep under a bridge
And then the lady sheeps would bring me the finest grass to eat cuz im the sheep king and id have sexy smooth sheep fur
It's amazing to think about how many Obama victory sex babies are being prevented by Obamacare free contraception.
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
I like her. She smells like old lady but tastes like whiskey
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
That's why my boobs are so big, they're full of secrets.
I just feel weird about accepting their wedding invite when I've got a post-engagement video on my phone of him jacking off in my bathroom.
Randomize
