Rylan was made in your driveway. Just thought, as godfather, you should know.
Half Baked? Au contraire, Ben and Jerry, I was fully baked when I ate that whole pint of ice cream.
Ramen noodles and uncensored jerry springer episodes, what a nice life i have.
Apparently mid blow job I started crying telling her how "Wonderful this blow job is"
Hey we met at the bar a week ago. Your friend gave me a rose and you asked about my nipples.
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
I imagine my service panda will provide sufficient protection. At the very least it will be an irresistible cuddly distraction while I make good my escape.
On the way home there was a guy passed out IN the road on Colfax with his pants around his ankles, completely bare assed. If he was dressed as a speed bump, he succeeded.
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT
So I just ran in to the Couger you saw me take home last month who i haven't talked to since then at Wawa and she was PISSED.. APPARENTLY i fucked her niece last week
I was too hungover to sit up and pull the curtains closed so I did it with my toes
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
Randomize
