just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
I really need to find better places to throw up. I would like to be able to use the bathroom sink the next morning for brushing my teeth
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
I'm pretty sure you thought I could absorb alcohol through my dress
Okay good. And who the fuck put a condom on my foot. That shit hurt
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
If body pillows had a built in vibrator attached I would literally never need a boyfriend again
You need to stop showing people the things i drunk-text to you... i have a reputation to uphold here
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
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