I solve my problems like an adult, at the strip club drinking on a work night.
yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
I just found out how hard it is to put together a fake Christmas tree with a hangover.
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
She said she couldn't find my penis because my arm was in the way. That was my penis
Every man deserves at least one moment like that
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
my binge eating and her being stoned all the time has reduced us to a bowl of chinese candies, frozen bacon and a stick of butter, we do however have enough alcohol to start our own liquor store.
Who wrote "the chamber of secrets has been open, enemies of the heir beware" across my bathroom wall?
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
starting to feel like a fuck wizard with a magical sixth sense for people fucking.
Fuck you, dude, I'm not sharing my weed anymore if you're going for the Panthers.
She was hammered and showed her gay best mate a pic of my cock, his response was "I fucked the wrong brother"
On a side note apparently my brother is gay
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