tfor prom could you pick me up wo bottles of champagne and a condom, please?
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
I woke up and he had cut my bangs and put makeup on me.
I don't care how good they make you look, you've got to stop sleeping with gay guys.
He literally just walked in some random persons house and walked right to they're pantry. Then five minutes later he walks out with pop-tarts, mac and cheese, and captain morgan. We need to chill with this kid more often.
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
Most people would probably take his lack of responses as a queue to stop. But nope, not me. I just keep going. And that's why I don't have a bf, just a little weinered friend
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
Just got discharged from the hospital after getting my finger stitched back together don't you dare say you had a worse night than me
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
There's a guy masturbating in front of Sephora right now
Randomize
