***** fucked a guy with one hand last night
Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
I think im drinking tonight later on...which is good cuz i walked pass the liquor aisle the other day and i swear i heard a kid call me a pussy
And now for everyone's least favorite sport... Drunk babysitting.
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
so go get some goddamn bacon and lay in his bed naked. he'll love it.
YOU HAVE PISSED AND FUCKED ON LITERALLY EVERYTHING IN MY HOUSE
Not everything, just a few things. And only a few times. The odds are really not all that bad when you break it down.
you’ve pissed every time you slept over. there’s no such thing as odds anymore. it’s guaranteed
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
If I could I'd magically teleport drugs and alcohol to you. Like a bad decision fairy.
You didnt text me.. I'm on your street with golf clubs
My brain is a dvd screensaver and I'm allowed to have a good thought when it hits the corner
Randomize