He is either going to be in my pants or get a restraining order against me.
I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
I just jerked off and used a stopwatch to track my results. Pretty depressing on multiple fronts.
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
She just kept saying "bless your heart" to him while he cried because he came so fast. I think a Texas woman was just what he needed
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
my vagina can't take this anxiety. there is no way he is 19 and this smooth. he's lying about his age or he's a goddamn sexual prodigy
He yelled "I'm Bruce Springsteen!" when he came. This is why I don't sleep with guys from Jersey.
I need to stop getting so drunk at bowling
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
Let me get this straight. You stopped mid foreplay to shave your legs?
Um yeah. I wasn't about to shave them if nothing was happening. And I have HBO. It's not like he's the victim here.
Sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do... and then you need to delete the history so you're girlfriend doesn't see it.
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
Randomize
