If you text me again I will gut all of your stuffed animals.
i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
Say something about gay babies.
and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
I've had enough of this chick, she wanted to cuddle after giving me a handjob. I feel like I'm in junior high
I figured you left because I was a shit show. Were you still there when I got locked in the bathroom and didn't know where I was? If not, that could have been a dream. I'm still not sure.
Sorry, not ignoring you.. We broke open the other piñata left from cinco de mayo and it was filled with condoms, mini booze bottles, and those little party horn things you blow into. You'll forgive me when we're fucking for days with all these free condoms.
I brought ur friend Scotty home... He started rubbing my crotch then fell down and passed out in front of the microwave
Do you know how to get blood out of tile grout?
I took a cab from the club to the grocery store. I needed peanut butter.
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
do you know of a way I can die but like NOT die? like not being unconcious, just ascending to an astral plane for a few weeks or months in real world time so i can sort my issues out away from the rigors of life kinda deal, you know?
For future reference: When the bouncer is approaching you to remove you from his bar, you don't respond by taking off your pants.
You asked me how red your eyes were... they were shut.
Randomize
