You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
It's sad that my net worth at the moment is 4 beers
Are we still banned from the library?
I have her designated blowjob hair tie on my wrist. It's like a key to eternal happiness
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
Please please please buy brown eye liner on your way home in the morning... I'm missing an eyebrow
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
I. Did. In fact. Sprain. My liver. This. Weekend.
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
dude you know how i got totally hammered and lost my phone at some frat when i came to visit you two months ago? yeah well someone mailed it back to me in minnesota.. with a picture of a cock as the screen savor
How do I say “I have great tits” without it sounding awful
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
I'm hearing voices and sirens. I'm scared. I heard a manatee out there.
Randomize
