i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
Sundresses, hats, and big glasses. That is the greatest trick the devil ever taught women.
Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
He asked me if I "almost moaned"
I've gone to the bathroom 3 times. And forgot to pee. 3 times. Let's say we call it a night, I need to be found. I see a fish tank by the bar and some stairs.
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
Every time I drink before 5 somebody's pet dies
Stop drinking before 5
Easier said than done
Come over, we're having a tea party. And by a tea party I mean we're drinking whiskey from tea cups.
I was stalking his twitter and saw that he used punctuation in a hashtag. Thank god we didn't work out because I can't be with someone that incompetent
It says a lot about the way my life is going right now that 'there's no shit in your house' is fucking good news.
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
Well. I mean as excuses for running late go, 'losing track of time in the bathhouse' has gotta be up there on the top ten.
Drunk me started making nachos apparently but never got to the part with the cheese. There are chips everywhere
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
Randomize
