Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
i just had sex with a fat kid who giggles when he cums. tequila really lowers my standards.
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
Before attempting to fly away into the night you asked me to take care of your sister. I agreed.
There's a stripper banging on the door demanding to see you.
We're both on the slippery slope toward middle age...and really shame riddled bar experiences
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
Tell me not to purchase 500 ball pit balls and a kiddy pool
No
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
Today is the day I die from a hangover. I love you, mom. Farewell.
First thing I find in the car I just pick up from my grandpa? A discount card for the strip club down the road from his apartment. The force is still strong.
There it is. Caramel-coated dick. Someone is getting a yeast infection later.
You chose shitty college football over this pussy and my cute little mouth. That's your fault.
Randomize
