idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
My boogers are black from last night. So that's either from all the colored hairspray or inhaling all of the tragedy from the party...
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
Today I left one job interview, showed up randomly at his house for a midday bootycall then left right after to attend my second job interview. I got both jobs
Drinking Fireball means never having to say you're sorry. Unless its at you're arraignment.
What should I say back?
Well, how do you want the conversation to go?
Straight into my pants.
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
Dude I'm so clean right now. Like I feel insulted that I can pass a piss test.
I just wanna get high and take a fucking awesome nap. Those are my goals for the week.
My cat just tried to lay on my stomach while I was masturbating. And I let her because I am so starved for affection.
And he's back on taking these stupid testosterone supplements to kickstart him back into working out. And they just make him angry and horny all the time. I'm like great, just in time to meet my whole family for Christmas.
If you fold the laundry; booze and orgasms on me.
Hurry I'm alone dressed like a prostitute eating French fries.
Randomize
