Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
but his dog just died...ill send him an edible arrangement or a 6 pack or something
he was on top of me and all of a sudden stopped and starting picking his nose...i asked him if he was okay, he sort of looked confused, and he told me he had a booger that hurt. guess its a good thing i wasnt planning on dating this guy
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
he just asked me to email him a handle of captain morgans...how sober do you think he is?
my wrists were so small for the handcuffs, i could slip them off and hand the tow truck driver my keys....
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
Just paid a $5 cover at a bar I stumbled by so I could puke in a toilet and not in public.
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
He sent me a snapchat of himself growing a double chin. I think we're past the stage where there's any risk of us sleeping together. Ever.
Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success?
Just woke up and read the text that drunk me sent you, i take it all back, and you can't have my power puff girl pillow either.
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
Randomize
