I just fell asleep with a sandwich in my mouth at Cosi..people definitely saw
Tostitos scoops are the best shotglasses ever. Eat it after as a chaser.
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
Two bottles of champagne and half a pizza later, I'm crying myself to tears watching The Nanny. Happy finals week.
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
My neighbors are outside blasting Hootie and the Blowfish while drunkenly hitting a stump with a hammer. I could get used to this.
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
He told me the escort brought him pizza. Can something be sad and awesome at the same time ?
Also, just woke up in a Romney tank and sequin flag panties. Merica.
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
So the next time I search for "Dragon Dildo" on my phone, I should probably clear the browser before handing my phone to someone and that's the first thing they see haha
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
Randomize