Why is my head in the toilet this morning but there is vomit behind the toilet
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
It was like the Alcoholic Olympics...double fisting fifths with eight 40s in my backpack...running from the cops in stilettos. I will have bitchin' hamstrings come Monday.
He just subscribed to one of my Spotify playlists. The next step is sex.
My worst fear almost came to light...I was choking and the cats stared at me like they had no problem eating my face if I died
Drunkenly making hamburger helper. I just whispered "I can't wait to have you in my mouth."
And then I fed you egg rolls in bed as you were screaming I'm moving out
I threw up in bed last night and tried cleaning it with oldspice and baby powder
The groom's brother was an accomplishment. Then I remembered he was also the officiant. Check and check.
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
Coffee's working. Just killed a fly with my bare hands.\nFuck with me.
The lady at the liquor store in my hometown just gave ran around the corner and gave me a hug when I came back from being gone for a couple months. My life is complete.
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