So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
I feel like I'm in a bed a bagels and mistakes.
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
the chips you spilled whiskey on is not the same thing as Irish breakfast potatoes
She's on her way over to shave my year round sweater vest into a festive argyle sweater vest. Keeper?
So guess who got away with telling their girlfriend she's insane multiple times in a Valentine's day card. Yup, this guy.
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
What's Spanish for "I shouldn't have worn these underwear to work?"
I'm not gonna swipe right, he has better hair than me. Just no.
Getting so old my power naps are turning into, "can I reasonably just go to bed at this time?"
Randomize
