i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
I just made a steamroller out of a christmas ornament. I feel so festive.
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
Would I chase a raccoon with a flaming stick sober?
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
If there is a heaven, that's what it will be. Bagel Bites and cunnilingus.
My life is literally "I'm too horny you can't leave" or "let's have pie" there's like no inbetween
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
She can't take shots?!? Literally if I could list that as a skill on a resume I would
I’ve been home 1 day and already had sex with my ex and got a blowie from her cousin and currently I’m getting molested by a cougar at the bar!!!! Plenty to give thanks for this year!!!!
Randomize
