Grandma was not a fan of the beer-can ornaments. Not "traditional".
Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
Hungover snowboarding. Puked off the lift and traumatized a group lesson for kids. Crash course on adulthood.
You thought your socks were broken. They were just inside out.
Having to explain to my dad why there are chicken wings to the pool filter, new low.
Judge me all you want, but while you are stuck at home eating Ramen and tap water, I will be dining with some guy who, although might be the same age as my father, is filthy rich.
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
I was sleeping pretty good until your cat pooped loudly. I dreamed that a full grown man was pooping on my ear. It startled me.
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
Last night I crashed my housemates tinderdate, smoked his weed and then left. He felt too awkward to say no.#Empowerment
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
Randomize
