You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
Note to all middle aged "I totally let myself go after childbirth" frumpy mothers: I do not dress this way for your husbands. Stop looking at me like that. It's not my fault.
I just found out you can file for divorce online. I love America.
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
I just imagined your drunkass eating Taco Bell in my living room. This is the Godmother of my potential child.
I left my Thanksgiving family dinner puking in my hands from the worst hangover in the world
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
I was about to smoke a bunch of weed and lay naked while I cried all day
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
Yeah then you killed that bottle of Bacardi in under 20 minutes. So much for being an organ donor.
Drunk assassins creed leads to explaining to my father that "it was only a steak knife in the arm"
I need a life alert for his random dick pics. My heart can't handle that.
My walk of shame is starting to become positively reinforcing; I stop by Starbucks and when I leave I look someone just heading to work.
Randomize
