I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
I just peed behind the dumpster and dedicated it to you. Can i call u?
Random question, but did I leave a spoon on your dresser last night?
somehow this turned into a costume party you have to get here now with my banana suit or I'm wearing my birthday suit
This Halloween will be different. I'm just here to get shitfaced, not troll around looking for slutty nun pussy.
When I tell my children how I survived hurricane Sandy I'll probably leave out the threesome
Just a heads up... Don't get high and attempt to do your own taxes
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
Nothing says hey I wanna be your friend again like ambushing me with a dick pic
I have a hickey in my new work ID photo.....
I was masturbating and a roofer walked past my bedroom window.
But we have bathrooms and they dont
Randomize
