I'm pounding a vodka drink as we speak to make her interesting
Must be January. Theres a fat chick on an elliptical wearing khaki capris. Someone doesnt own any workout clothes
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
He wouldn't give me a cup of water for my bong so i sat in the drive thru to run up the timer until he gave it to me.
Dude she hit me with my own penis and it hurt. I've never been cock slapped but she slapped me with my own cock so it has to be worse.
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
He has been feeding me cheesecake and candy for breakfast. Naked. For three days. How am I ever going to leave????
Why can't burritos get me drunk
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
NOT PREGNANT HIGH FIVE!
Can you imagine doing supermarket sweep in a sex store? What's the sex store equivalent of a whole ham?
Randomize
