So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
I don't know why girls would even talk to someone as drunk as I was.
My mom is helping me re-arrange my room to make New Year's more hook-up friendly
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
He's just a really nice guy who stuck his tongue in the wrong place.
Bro I can't jerk it to my phone anymore. I feel Siri staring back, and she's real disappointed.
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
Nevermind, there are three drinks waiting at the bar for me. I cannot disappoint this alcohol.
Oh, cold wet seat on the 48! Are you piss? Are you the sweaty ass leavings of an obese person? Are you the spilled King Cobra from the night before? I do not know! I dare not smell to find out... Pants ruined...
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
when a dude sends me an unwanted dick pic I just send him a picture of a nicer one. A more photogenic one. A dick with a future.
YOU'RE NOT THE ONE BEING EVISCERATED BY YOUR OWN UTERUS SO GET SOME DAMN SLEEP YOU FOOL!
You need to get a passport so we can carry our bad decisions over the border
she was sitting on the toilet asking for me to take a "cute facebook profile picture" for her
Randomize
