Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
Oh I forgot to tell you one of the little boys in my preschool class was wearing a Hooters tank top today.
I just wanna go home eat some pizza rolls, get warm and jerk off, and it's only 845. This shit was supposed to make me see unicorns. Not cry
all I remember is repeatedly winking at the fire marshall while he was counting the people in the bar
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
First things first, I always get more drunk than the birthday girl. Like, who's idea was it to sing karaoke? I killed it.
Congrats on dating a convict, there's no fitbit badge for that one.
Wtf can everyone stop fucking in my grandma's bed? This is like the third time
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
Randomize
