ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
i just threw up a quarter into the urinal in the bathroom at the bar. everybody else stared then cheered. that drunk
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
Youre at medical school. Im eating raw cookie dough, pickles, and orange juice. Naked. On a monday afternoon. I clearly make better life choices than you.
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
i was sitting in the back of a squad car completely stoned watching airplanes take off
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
I know we're not on great terms here, but I need to know if you're still available for sexual activity...cause if not I need to get going on a work-out plan.
Aww his grandma died? That's sad! No mourning sex!!! That doesn't lead to good things!
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
It was all going good until I realized she was wearing underwear with a butt flap. Mission aborted.
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