he is naked. in. my. bed. happiest day. of my. LIFE.
The vibrator you gave me is probably the one thing I will never give up if we got robbed at gunpoint
First day at work... I clogged up the office toilet on purpose to assert my dominance.
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
I distinctly recall there being a "I can't be dead 2maro" stipulation to going out last night. There's been a breech of contract
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
Like wrapping my dick in silk, wrapping that in velvet, and putting it in a cloud. A warm, tight, wet cloud.
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
Can you bring me the toilet please
If you fold the laundry; booze and orgasms on me.
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
When you called me I said did you make it home. You said yeah. Then you said you didn't know where you were. I said you were at home and you said but where. I said you are in the bathroom. Then you said oh, you're so smart lol
I bet he’d be surprised by the epic blow job he’d get if he stopped talking about his wife long enough for me to get in the mood
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