We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.
I was hidding Easter eggs in CHURCH this morning when one of the older men came up to me and said "I always knew you'd be a bunny just not the Easter kind" ... Our congregation obviously has high hopes for their pastor's daighter
Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
I'm texting you from across the beer pong table to tell you that the drunk chick you brought over needs to disappear. like now.
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
Nothing says I'll be 22 tomorrow like washing the vomit out of your hair at 4pm
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
He told me I had smoking hot areolas then he wins an executive of the year award. How does that even happen?
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
This is the nicest bathroom I've ever been drunk in. The urinal is gold.
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
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