gonna sleep on the stairs... to drunk to keep going up, way to drunk to go down, gonna find a comfy spot right here... its safer that way
A lesson I learned in the hospital....when you masturbate while attached to a heart monitor, it scares the nurses a lot.
on a related note, did you know that the fire alarm in our apartment talks?
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
Well, when he's back from China he's probably gonna be pissed I used the spare key he gave me to prove to everyone I'm fucking an NBA player. We took all his booze too.
I need a therapist, but moreover we are going to be really drunk.
I don't listen when you talk. I just try to find new creative ways to get you to send me naked pictures.
Do you deliver to the black dark pit where I am? I think it's called.... The toilet? Right next to hell...
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
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