its been so long since i'vebeen laid i've forgotten what a penis looks like. When a guy makes me hot i picture him finishing the job by whipping a multi-setting showerhead out of his pants.
Yo, my girl thinks she's pregnant, so I've got a DD for the wedding. Sweet.
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
I was totally going to sleep with him, until he got naked and started swinging around his boner singing "I'm so hard. oh yeah yeah yeah, I'm so hard" like Rihanna.
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
There are several different types of life sentences in my purse right now.
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
So the guy I hooked up with during welcome week just tried to booty call me from across the lecture hall at 9am. I don't think he gets how this works...
As soon as we had sex he stopped opening doors for me. That wasn't an exchange. Im still a god damn princess
He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came
Seriously I'm not after your cock. It's a nice bonus, like finding $20 in the dryer, but not the reason I hang out with you.
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
Thanks for listening. You're the first guy I've ever worked with who I didn't want to fuck.
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