doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
I told her that I thought she needed an oral mammogram. With me being pre-med she bought it.
I'm calling into work with a wicked case of sledge hammer crotch. She has to understand
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
Yeah, I probably scared him away when I drunkenly told him we'd have beautiful children
Youre attempt to ruin my night by putting Date Rape by Sublime on my sex playlist failed. She was into it.
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.
I'm so high I would give anything in the world to be inside my lava lamp right now
multitasking: i'm now sitting up and smoking my joint.
I'm good. We walked you back to my apartment and you demanded to eat the sandwich I made for him
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
Yesterday we were fuck buddies and today I'm meeting his mom. That escalated quickly.
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
Randomize
