Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
Just saw my boss eat a banana in three bites.
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
I checked into jail on foursquare
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
now that you've tased me I refuse to buy you flowers
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
I cried at the bouncer while saying I wished he was my father... They had no idea what to do with me.
I found three vicadin and a pint of fireball with the note. In case of emergency drink me under their sink.
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
Don't forget to grab a pregnancy test and sloppy joe mix for tonight
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
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