my boyfriend just said he'd go down on me if I gave him my password to facebook
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
You're fine
I'm hiding in my chest because my walls smell weird. I'm not fine.
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
Technically he's married but he says it's "not like that" even tho his wife lives with him. Not sure if I believe him but I'm sleeping with him anyway.
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
I woke up to 76 pages of e's, r's, d's, and f's from when I fell asleep for 3 hours on my laptop keyboard trying to write that paper.
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
I'm busy watching infomercials. I'd say I'll join you later, but I'm doing a shot every time they demonstrate how difficult life is WITHOUT this product. So I doubt I'll be able to walk in another... Maybe 40 minutes.
But feel free to join! A new infomercial starts in 12 minutes.
When you finally get laid, I shall make you a trophy out of dildos
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
Dude, seriously, fucking stop introducing me as "Thomas, with the dick piercing." you are the worst wingman ever.
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
Randomize
