For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
i wrote down the address for planned parenthood on the back of the receipt for the condom that broke
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
Whoever decided it was a good idea to sell 40's at a bar with life-sized jenga deserves a nobel prize.
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
I just saw a douchebag with frosted tips & a LaCoste polo with popped collar driving a Call of Duty edition Jeep. It was a cavalcade of stereotypes.
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
It's not even 6 am and I've already told my mom to fuck herself in the face
I think I ingested my vampire fangs last night.
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
Bro you were on fire last night...like a less Irish version of Liam Neeson
I woke up with a giant paw print on the side of my face, my jaw hurts, and I have no idea how any of this happened.
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
Randomize
