She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
The only thing better than Call of Duty is getting jerked off while playing Call of Duty.
woke up on my stairs with half a hot dog beside me and the last text I sent was "i make hot dog in toasTer" .
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
We were squawking at each other for over an hour like chickens. Literally. Never touching the stuff again and never again showing my face at that Denny's.
Turns out, his fucking is as lame and staggered as his NFL career.
How is it that I've hooked up with not one but two guys in the children's section of a bookstore tonight?
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
Went to put my shoe on and asked myself why I left a sock in it. I didn't. Needless to say I found our used condom.
Can we smoke pot out of a menorah?
My mom just looked at me and said; "You've been pretty bitchy lately do you need some dick?" WTF has happened to me?
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
Did I tell you I’m going on a date? His name is Michael and we both like dinosaurs and anal.
I'm eating Arby's in the bathtub because I'm an adult and I do what I want
Randomize
