I totally give up. Optimus Prime just fell from the top of the Great Pyramid into the hypostyle hall at Karnak.
You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
We were making out when she went into convulsions. At least now I know she's allergic to peanuts.
No, I'm in the bathroom trying to scrub off the 16 tally marks on my wrist so its not so obviously to the world that I puked on a couch last night.
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
This is embarrassing but i think i might have left my fake tooth at your house on your night stand.
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
My sweat smells like Wild Turkey. I'm really feeling the holiday spirit.
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
Relationship goals: we both wore red underwear tonight. Except he won’t know because my bra been off but it’s the thought that counts I guess.
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