Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
dude i woke up to 20 missed calls from you, 3 from a blocked number and had 13 voicemails that all said "send me a picture of your tits."
so im guessing thats a no.....
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
I left two hundred in singles in your car sorry about the mess
I'm gonna hire strippers dressed like the founding fathers.
I vaguely remember Matt shouting something about "GET ON MY LEVEL!" at the bartender before he attempted to order a case of tequila from him.
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
We haven't been trashed enough to shut down a bar together in four days. I'm starting to worry that we're growing apart.
DID YOU DO SOMETHING WITH THE DEAD ROACH IN THE KITCHEN? OR DID IT LAZARUS?
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
Of course, it's a law of friendship. "Thy friend Shalt always hold hatred for thine friend's swinish ex"
I pretty much just wake up, masturbate at least twice, and go to the beach. #Unemployed. I do look for jobs in between all that tho.
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
Randomize
