She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
Screw this I'm going to go talk to her. If you hear sirens they're for me.
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
I would makeout with my roommate, but im not drunk enough and she doesnt like bacon fat
3 for 3 on getting girls who say "yolo" at the bar to have anal. Not the motto I live by, but it has changed my life.
Erry day erry day!
We just laid there in bed together, petting his dick and repeating, "IT FEELS LIKE VELVET!!!"
YOU WOULD BE SEEING ME. IN MY KITCHEN. BENDING OVER MY OVEN. MAKING YOU CAKE.
Wait, that's an option?
She bent over while grinding on me on the dance floor and her thong straps were hanging out, I thought it was a good idea to grab the straps with both hands and pretend to be riding in Santa's sleigh...not my brightest moment.
Why wake up next to a guy when you can wake up next to a bag of chips and not have to worry about what kind of std you might've caught
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
March Madness means a buffet of emotionally vulnerable dick at the bars almost every night. So yeah my vagina and I are big fans.
There comes a point where there's just condoms and old mcdonalds in your garbage can and you can't tell if you've won or lost.
Randomize
