shotgunning a bud heavy is like shotgunning a turkey sandwich
We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
Hey, my drug test is at 4:15 tomorrow. I'll meet you 5 minutes later.
I woke up with a new Tiffanys necklace on. I'm such a classy drunk.
1.) You left the rest of your whiskey here 2.) I drank your whiskey 3.) then made a steam roller out of the bottle 4.) Everything tastes like whiskey
there seems to be a considerable amount of hair missing from my left hand. i may have lit it on fire again
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
I made Mark strip for me and do a stripper dance. I put 2 dollars in his mouth
Here is a brilliant idea passed on from men who have that same regret. WEAR A FUCKING CONDOM ALWAYS.
Just responding to the most professional request I've ever gotten to get shitfaced.
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
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