Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
She was either really drunk or really not interested. Everytime I tried to ask her about herself she would respond with a line from Stepbrothers.
Convinced the domino's pizza delivery person to go to shaws and buy me a bottle of wild turkey. For america.
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
If it snows I'm just gonna sit at my house in my costume and drink beer by myself all night.
At the end of the white elephant exchange, our professor had a big black dildo around her neck and I won a full body dinosaur suit. I could die tomorrow with no regrets.
I ran into my boss at the liquor store on our lunch hour we both just stood there awkwardly until i was like your car bar or mine hahaha we both need a cab
During sex his mom asks from the other side of the door, "Do you like avocados?" Who doesn't like avocados?
i may or may not be making depth charges with cough syrup. i'll call you if i survive.
The best part about daylight savings time this weekend is we get an extra hour to be fucked up.
I am naked and annoyed.
The one that slept in my truck and you peed in his face?
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
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