So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
I just called my cat a slut and she responded. Proudest moment ever.
If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
Tis the season to puke in grandma's bathroom
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
i don't remember much about your party last weekend but i remember you being so drunk you were crying in your driveway about pickles at four am
You know you need to get it together when a frat guy wakes you up and says you need to go to class
Something I never want to forget. I'm in a porta potty and she is outside knocking on the door going "You're a queen. You're a queen. Never think any different"
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
I just used a coke ridden $20 bill to buy Girl Scout cookies
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
Sitting on my couch watching TV in my underwear drinking a bottle of wine.... and you want to interrupt me to come pick you up. No I will not do it.
Randomize
