Then we managed to set a grill and all 24lbs of meat on it on fire. I didn't help because I was filled with alcohol and extra flammable.
you just kept swimming in circles and whenever someone would try and coax you out you would scream "i CANNOT drown, my brother is the supervisor of a water park!!
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
I feel like if you stuck me in a room with all my old toys it'd be the best high ever.
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
I'm driving up the street and can't tell if my ears are actually about to pop or not.
A solid 8.5 on the baked meter, I need to stop.
Sat down on an escalator. That hungover.
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
She complimented my boobs and then told me I smelled like teddy bears before falling asleep on the floor.
I'm at a loss. By loss I mean singing songs from Wicked and pretending I'm at the Oscars
I have only made 3 good decisions in my life and getting really stoned reenacting the Lion King with my cat in a lion mane hat is 2 of them.
it's 1043 pm. still havent changed out of the shirt i wore last night so at this point i figure i'll go for twosies.
Randomize
