Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
Only you would get a date out of getting hit by a car
Just wrestled a cop. He won my shorts. I won my freedom. In fishnets and army boots. still headed to the party. would appreciate pants, but not necessary.
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
Do you ever feel like a plastic bag?!
How many tongue depressors should I need to steal from urgent care to make samurai armor?
i cant believe we used adam and eve as a sexting theme last night
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
I'm sitting on my couch eating a bag of marshmallows and watching someone run bare ass down the street. What has happened to my life?
Dude she's from Moscow. I feel like I'm cheating on America.
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
The guy I blew who bought us all the shots last night? I really think he's the TV guy I'm watching give the local weather. Like right now.
NOT PREGNANT according to the two dollar tree pregnancy tests I took in the tacobell bathroom. Come meet me at tacobell for celebratory soft tacos.
That ass isn’t going to eat itself.
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