fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
You're telling me you've never sent a picture of your cock to a girl and then were all like "Oops, sorry, wrong person! By the way...You like?"
My penis just literally said "Yaaaaaay!!!" It's the first time it's spoken out loud. Before this we could only communicate through rudimentary sign language
No, that was the night I helicoptered my dick to oncoming traffic. Im talking about the night I ran naked down the street.
stalking the twitter feeds of girls who have fucked my current fuck buddy makes me glad we use condoms
i would never take his side over yours. you coulda gotten knocked up from another dude and i'd be right there next to you blaming it on him saying some shit like "his sperm were just too sub par for you" or "shoulda had a bigger penis"
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
He's bringing a lesbian pretending to be his girlfriend to family Christmas. I can not wait to see how this goes.
I just checked and if you bring a picture of your ex they will shred it and give you a free 'hater shot'. Would it be too much to print off one of their wedding pictures and bring it?
I really love that you're not going the 'why am I not married and having a kid yet?' route, but rather 'thank god I dodged that bullet'
Randomize
