this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
Don't pass out before midnight like you did last year. See how much your year sucked
I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
If I started a story with "That three-year-old totally deserved it," would you listen?
Just threw up in nordstroms while shopping for moms bday with dad. He distracted workers for me. No more tequila
You're right. Single life welcomed me back with open arms. It's like it knew it wasnt going to be long when I left.
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
just texted my dealer that i could taste the blue but not the cheese. i said i could taste blue.
Hey! I need booze. And penises. And a lot of mistakes that I will regret in the morning.
Why am I not blowing coke off your ass at my apartment?
Holy shit I've found my last one night stand in my Gran's knitting club
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
Randomize
