I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
I'm so hungover, I actually considered rolling down the stairs to avoid walking.
It's like God knew that was my ex's best friend and punished me. I've never vomited that much in my life.
You had already cockblocked me. The cops were just an assist.
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
So I'm seriously debating forwarding these sexts to his horse faced new gf including the ones that say he still loves me... but I still need his check to clear... decisions decisions
I'm so hungover I literally am considering drinking from the fishtank to avoid getting out of bed.
after she rolled over and said 'i'm so glad you're like my gay best friend, love you' then left. did i just get friendzoned AFTER sex??
Last night all you did was whine about how you needed something new and exciting
Is THAT why I woke up with dreadlocks?
What if there is no right person? Maybe it's just the right cat. Or the right 12 cats.
Killing two birds with one stone tonight: mastrabation meditation. Win win.
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
I'm putting his belongings the garage sale so he can buy his own stuff back. # divorced life. Thanks for cheating on me you tone deaf dick biscuit that'll be $20. Haha.
So I fucked a guy with his mouth wired shut last night never thought id cross that off my imaginary bucket list
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