How'd it feel making her break her religion?
He keeps asking me for girl advice, i told him im an expert at getting drunk, not girls
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
Just rolled over and found your boyfriend in bed with me. Is mine at your house?
Please tell me you're throwing the cats into this foot of snow.
Totalylr drunk. Coveredc in cryola marker. Loving it. Straight men everywhere. Don't be surprises when I'm pregbat romorrowwwww
Emily is drunk. We're coming to see you at work and we're bringing jello shots for you.
Which genius got me a voicemail of myself puking?
Hypothetically, if a stripper with braces bites you on the cleavage and it leaves an open wound, do you need a tetanus shot?
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
So I went tanning and I burned my boobs.
They're like sad pomegranates.
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
Randomize
