Your drunken mistake is coming over to see if she wants to buy any of our furniture. I know youre desperate, but try not to fuck her, without a condom, for a fourth time, while shes there.
i gave her a can of corn and told her the cabs are accepting non perishable food items over the holidays. blatant lie and she lives like $40 away
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
He pulled out a red and green condom and then started humming "Here Comes Santa Claus." Happy holidays indeed.
I fought a guy last night because he said "extra pulp orange juice is the best orange juice"
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
You grabbed my shirt and said, "hope you're not attached" and ripped it off before I could answer you.
We just FaceTimed and I put an Oreo in my vagina for him. Now he has to fly across the globe for me.
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
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