the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
He used my blackberry to make a voice recording of me orgasming, then set it as my ringtone while I was sleeping. I discovered this during a staff meeting this morning.
I just found a thank you note I apparently wrote to my bed last night for letting me borrow the comforter.
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
How many beers are too many "cause it's Archer Thursday" beers?
The ratio of last drink to last smoke is so tricky. This could go on until the booze is gone
You might be at the point of severe desperation when you gotta hold the two pieces of your broken vibrator together just to get off.
I sewed up my pants, stole his girlfriends white shirt, and went to work hungover like a responsible adult.
Lesson: Never rollerskate with a 40 in your hand unless you have a destination.
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
And I'm sorry for punching you in the face when I drunkenly threw my sandwich
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
Randomize
