I just saw a guy masturbating vigorously at the bus stop across from del taco at 2:30am...im pretty sure he wasn't even homeless
If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
While my grandpa showed the family a slide show he accidentally included a topless photo of his new gf.
he woke me up at 3 am to ask me where my plunger, a towel, and staples were. i'm afraid to go into my bathroom.
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
What's the protocol on showing a video of me sucking the life out of my ex in order to prove beyond a doubt that I give great head???
she made a facebook for her toddler.. his likes include lil wayne and ice luge. He has more friends than i do. I mean, Seriously? there's not enough booze in the world to make thanksgiveing bearable
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
It was like the Alcoholic Olympics...double fisting fifths with eight 40s in my backpack...running from the cops in stilettos. I will have bitchin' hamstrings come Monday.
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
Also. When I die, I'm gonna have them put me in the casket naked and then have an open casket funeral. That will be my last chance to make people uncomfortable.
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
See, this is why you don't do nice things for people. You'll get stuck in the snow and you won't catch a dick.
Pretty sure the delivery guy saw me taking a shit this morning
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
Randomize