Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
he kept farting in my kitchen and blaming it on the dog. then we went to wendy's and he spent twenty minutes in the bathroom. im pretty sure he shit his pants.
you should have known when you found out he drove a mini cooper not to hang out with him.
Someone should tell Glenda that I only hang with her because she makes me look prettier.
Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
The best way to start drinking is as early as possible. eg, this bar isn't open but we're patiently waiting outside. That way you're confident and exciting when the talent arrives. Or too drunk to care.
I don't know what to be prouder of: the fact that last night i was able to successfully find my way home from evanston with 3-d glasses on, or that i was able to make my way around my house in the dark with my pants around my ankles
If you wanna be a real wingman, create some insecurity and comment on that pic of all the hot girls with "Id do every girl in this pic.. except the fat one".
Thank you for not boning my boss.
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
While randomly hooking up with my neighbor last night he says "it's okay we're neighbors".
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
The modern romantic, surprising his gf w/ a gram of blow
the orange of my hangover Tang is hurting my eyes... my coworkers knew it was hangover Tang too.
Randomize
