well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
My T9 text prediction thing keeps predicting every next word is going to be "midgets".
turns out making maccaroni and cheese with whipped cream instead of butter is only good when your high
I love you and want you to know that you're the best friend ever and me lassoing you with a seatbelt was out of sheer affection.
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
OHMYGOD I LITERALLY JUST FINISHED JERKING OFF AND MY MOM BUSTS IN AND HANDS ME A BABY WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON IN MY HOUSE JESUS H CHRIST!
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
you weren't there so I had to flirt with him on your behalf
Whoever was doing lines off my iPad is a dick. Also bring Gatorade, for I hunger
For Who flesh?
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
I'm not just straddling the line between love and hate, I'm dry humping the shit out of it
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