if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
i gave him head before the novacaine wore off...i think his penis touched my lung
My mother just asked me if i ever swallow the goods...should i be concerned?
I gave up sex for lent.
I guess that means I'm postponing our date until after Easter.
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
This girl I interned with got engaged today and I'm just like over here taking plan B with my tacos and PBR.
I wore a shirt that says "more tequila" to my bday party last year and that's why I want to be my own friend
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
I told you that you couldn’t eat fifty tacos, you slapped me in the face, ate seventeen tacos, and fell asleep on my floor
I'm in the recliner and i have a bottle of wine wedged in my cleavage, drinking from a straw. Clever and classy or pathetic and sloppy?
Why is my belly button ring in my ear
I bonged champagne. And did keg stands. What in the actual fuck am I doing with my life?
one of my students asked me today if i was having a baby. fuckin 4 year olds and their lack of filter. time to get back to the gym i guess
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