I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
i dont care if i have to wear a pillow case, there will be an open bar at my wedding
this girl with a french braid down the center of her head won't stop talking about the benefits of the free market. i'm hungover, bloated and haven't slept for 4 days. shut up french braid girl, shut up.
He measures volume by how much weed he can put in it and surface area by how many people can have sex in it.
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
Well I squeegeed the puke off your arm at the gas station
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
I feel I should make it clear.....I'm not stalking you, I'm stalking ur dick. You don't even need to talk when you get here. At 4am I think we'd both prefer that anyway.
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
One day we'll be rich enough to go to rehab. Until then, fuck it.
We'll get you some ice cream, but no sprinkles. Sprinkles are for winners.
I HAVE A TEST I'M SORRY YOUR UN SUCKED DICK ISN'T MY FIRST CONCERN
I just woke up and my ass is covered in honey and my eye brows are shaved off.
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
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