I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
I could literally track my booty calls if I ever got knocked up by my parking tickets
he told me that my best friend was "one the most attractive people he's ever seen" and wondered why he didn't get a blow job
So the stripper who poured a beer on my head also gives great head. Even she doesn't know why she went home with me. No more mystery shot challenges.
He was crying because he hiccuped every time he kissed me. We then crawled to the kitchen because neither of us could stand, and I spoon-fed him peanut butter "to cure his ailment."
Fuck I keep finding new battle scars from our fight. Justin told me I stabbed you with a broom handle.. Do you remember ripping my pants off?
I wish someone would just come knock on my door and fuck me already so that me and my stuffed animals aren't the only ones who see my amazing spring break tan. I'm not getting skin cancer so I can just sit here abstinent.
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
Hey your work video crashed my computer. The 8 pornos running in the other window didn't. Congratulations.
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
would it be awkward if i bring my husband?
only if i fuck you in the bathroom while he's paying the check
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
Randomize
