4 words: hood of his car
I really hope your girlfriend didnt have your phone while i texted how much i loved doing it in HER car with you :x
she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
He's coming over, and I hope he doesn't get hungry. I'm sure its not proper protocol to bring one booty call to another booty call's house for the munchies.
i don't know what part of 'duct tape bikini waxes' seemed even a little okay in our drunk minds, but i'm never drinking with your sister again
Yeah I was convinced everyone knew I was high. Time was passing way too slowly for anyone NOT to notice.
You are a piece of meat with a side of awesome to me.
ON A SIMILAR NOTE MY DICK SIZE PSYCHIC SKILLS ARE SO GOOD
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
I have an interview tomorrow and listed you as a reference. If they call you, please don't tell them about the time I smuggled a Chalupa out of Taco Bell in my underwear.
I'm not talking about Donald Trump in the midst of sending you nudes
I'm going to need to invest in some knee pads if I keep having nights like tonight
Randomize
