I got so drunk I pissed the bed last night. He still likes me. He's a keeper
He is a keeper. You on the other hand are not.
I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
You can't be mad because the taco bell people like me and not you. I'm not the one that puked in front of them.
Dont eat ANYTHING off the floor at Matt's house. He likes floor sex.
It was like die hard. Except with more penises.
I just crawled out of bed at 5AM to make her a peanut butter and Nutella sandwich. Somewhere in the distance, I could hear whips cracking.
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
I wish men found my impeccable aim when spitting into the sink attractive.
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
Why are we so great
Like I'm def going to a therapist but I wouldn't change a thing about us except maybe the peeing
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
Randomize
