If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
Def drinking wine from a 4 liter jug at 11 am. If i call you in 20 years talking about 12 steps, please trace is back to this moment.
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
So neither of us had a dollar bill and we couldnt find a straw so we spent all nite doing coke through penne pasta
I'm on the bus, watching a girl shush her balloons.
Woke up at 10 with bourbon being shoved down my throat and him yelling, "shot train! Don't be a bitch"
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
So I bet a guy he could drink two irish car bombs faster than me and I lost. now he gets to name our first son. sory.
I wore sunglasses to take a shower. I might be hungover.
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
All his ex-girlfriends are delicate flowers, tho. And I'm like a trash compactor.
I wouldn't worry about it. You know what they say, THICK THIGHS MAKE THE DICK RISE.
Will Smith has a direct hotline to my emotions
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
i was ready to conquer the fucking world. i would have fought vin deisel to the death without hesitation
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