I wish i could sleep and get drunk at the same time...those are my 2 biggest needs right now
bring the vodka.
i thought we were going to mcdonalds..?
we are.
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
We almost forgot to tip the maids, so we left the rest of the gin, some tonic water and a lime. They earned it
javelin tossed one of my crutches in to the mosh pit at the concert, hit some dude in the temple hahah fuck him he sucks
I was passed out in a bathroom stall. Of course im going to look like shit
I think I accidentally invented a religion.
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
YOU BROUGHT HANDCUFFS TO THE WHITE ELEPHANT EXCHANGE AND DIDN'T TELL ME???
I'm sitting in the shotgun seat of my car on full recline trying to pretend everything is ok
So red wine goes with eggs, right? Because that's all I have in the house to cook and the drinking options are either wine or scotch
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
Autocorrect changes "sex" to "sec". I have been so long without it my phone thinks I made a mistake.
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
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