Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
he is the anna nicole to my 90 year-old billionaire. i'm grateful that he's fucking me, so i'm buying him shit.
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
I got the number from the girl at uhaul even after she saw me throw up all over the parking lot with a 6 pack in my hands.
I'm not afraid to fist fight your child if I feel he is standing in between me and some tacos.
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
i can't believe i'm giving you sex advice.
i've gotten sex advice under stranger situations. like while giving a blowjob behind the communications building.
sometimes when you're high at work you just have to say fuck it and eat the dog treats
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
All I've done for this 11 hour car ride is kegel and listen to our sex playlist so your dick better be good and ready
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
I got poked in the eye with a penis last night. How's your day?
I’m photoshopping my boobs to up my Tinder game. I need better dick in 2020
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