it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
Someone better explain the burnt stove marks on my bed.
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
Well I found you sipping ron diaz out of a child's dinosaur cup while sticking your fingers in the guy's fish tank and watching the "pirahnas" snap at your finger and laughing
Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself.
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
I woke up and the only 2 bowls I own were shattered on my floor. Pretty sure my hand and tailbone are broken and I have no idea what the fuck happened
His penis smells like laundry I just wanted to cuddle it
As a 47 yo who just boned a 22 yo, it was definitely a walk of pride. She is a major feather in my aging cap.
I wish they would just make alcoholic protein shakes already.
You dropped a beer and it was like when wilson floated away. Complete with sobbing apologies
Shit, no womder she didn't wanna fuck me
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
So were driving two hours to go to a club and Charles packed me a sippy cup full of tequila. He thinks of everything!
Randomize
