we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
He nailed 50 frozen hamburgers to the ceiling last night. Now there are flies every where.
You said you were going inside to sober up and then you poured yourself a wine glass of warm gin
Just came out of my room at 8 AM to find 2 pounds of raw hamburger and a half eaten cake strewn across the hallway. And I'm not surprised at all.
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
U know that drunk state, where at 930 the next morning your sitting in a bath in ur bathing suit trying to sober up...yeah. That's where i am..
The only thing I remember is vomiting and then feeding my dog a Mcdonalds cheeseburger and telling him yolo
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
That UFC fighter fucked me so hard I have what can only be described as a "cuntcussion"
multitasking: i'm now sitting up and smoking my joint.
I have vodka and explosives. For once, we can blow something up that isn't a blow-up doll.
I just want to slap everyone in the face that's happy being sober. Loser.
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
Randomize
