fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
I couldn't get internet on my iPod in this hotel room for porn, so I made due with UFC.
I'm not sure what to say to that.
hey my socially awkward cousin is our designated driver for summer, we just have to put up with her wierd shit.
weed, chlorine, and victory. my bed smells like i had sex with michael phelps.
I'm at the psychiatrist, and this lady is crazy.. she keeps yelling about how her HMO insurance gave her breast cancer? Adderall isn't worth this.
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.
I'm hungover as fuck. My vagina hurts. I locked my keys in my car. It's about 93* outside. We're having sex in the pool when I get home
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
Just found weed in my belly button. Happy Saturday!
This reminds me of the time I was given a lap dance by a David Bowie drag king...
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
Randomize
