I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
A kid in my class brought a George Foreman and cooked food mid lecture. When the prof found out, all the kid did was ask if he wanted some.
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!
He SHOWED UP to the party wearing one shoe and a dinosaur hat. He kept lifting up his shirt and asking people to bite his nipple.
Did I really drink that whole bottle of Jack Daniels last night?
Heroically.
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
I mean, don't most people have like a two week grace period where it's okay to ditch new friends?
Decided to stay in tonight. Completely sober. Just got two drunken booty calls within 5 minutes of each other. This is my life.
She woke up, mumbled "the trees" When i asked her what about them, she yelled "WE NEED THEM FOR OXYGEN," Then went back to sleep.
We need to get on her level.
Randomize
