i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
So My parents cut me off after I started making blood marys with hienz ketchup
Ok Hollywood, I get it. Megan Fox is hot. Now she is in a movie where she is so hot that dudes just fucking die. Great.
Hey guys. This is Daniel texting on mayas phone. if she called you and told you that i made her have sex with me in my doghouse with my dog present that wasn't true.... so dont spread that.
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
coming out of a blackout being surrounded by Disney police was not as awesome as it sounds.
I'm gonna win the lottery and buy chinchillas and tattoos for everyone
But yesterday I literally met half his family buzzed wearing a cheeta print bathing suit super short shorts and a tiny tank top.. I was like awesome
This lady gave me four cups to go along with my gallon of daiquiri. Silly girl, all I need is a straw.
We celebrated our relationship by shotgunning beers on his lawn in our underwear. I may have to marry this man...
party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
The first time he ever tried to hold my hand, I moon walked away.
Then, even the devil himself would be scared of us. And we'd be bestfriends with Jesus. He would love us.
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