I need a shot of tequila, and quick death
ok, im coming! i just found some lemon square in my bangs, washing that out..this shit is all over me! was i in a pie eating contest?
yes
did i win? did you like my outfit? or should i change, if you were horny would you bang me?
I feel so much closer to you now that I heard your poop splash into the toilet.
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
Can you explain to me why I woke up with my hands tied to the hotel bed with the phone cord???
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
It's George Washington's Birthday. Can you not put on some red white and blue and get really drunk for the original Merican??
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
I'm batshit crazy. I don't know how you guys keep forgetting that
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
This is the most aggressive rendition of that Proclaimers song I ever heard.
Randomize
