id be glad to
Only now do I see "not intended for use on skin" warning. Wonderful. But hey, my dick smells like magic marker.
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
Im only pretending to be his friend so I can sleep with his girlfriend.
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
Remember how I haven't seen my step sister in like 7 years? Pretty sure I just made out with her...
She kept crying and asking why I couldn't look more like Dennis quaid.
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
The ketchup exploded, and totally splooged his face and the wall. You could see the outline of his head in the wall splatter.
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
My idiot ex texted me on Valentine's day to tell me I was right, he did need a therapist.
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
Of course the sales lady was judging you, you bought a pregnancy test, ky jelly, diet pills and a 6 pack of red bull. Even i'm judging you.
Randomize
