Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
I made popcorn. Partly so the room doesn't smell like sex, and partly to apologize for the things you saw when you walked in...
we just bought Vicodin from the Chinese delivery guy, this day just keeps getting better.
I smell like I just crawled out of a bottle of champagne and landed on the floor of taco bueno.
I'm looking for mother nature. And when I find her, I'm looking her right in the eyes and telling her to fuck off.
wow thanks for pushing me towards an older man
you gotta start somewhere if you're going to be a trophy wife
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
I'm drunk from drinking bourbon out of a "cupcake sippy cup" at the Denny's bar. What the fuck happened to the goals I had?
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
Remember when you gave their 80 year old doorman a line of molly at 5am?
Ill try not let guys feel my boobs for free drinks next time, no promises tho. I am my boyfriends worst nightmare.
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