I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
I'm drinking till I'm someone else's problem
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
I lost count of how many people I peed on last night.
Why wouldn't u just let me ride the washing machine
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
Oh yes. Made out with a grandmother..... she had fake boobs and it was 330am. That makes it okay.
Mardi gras at its finest.
I don't want anything to do with the Darth Vader stripper babe. I'm just trying to make dreams come true.
His mom already thought we were lesbians BODY SHOTS WERE JUST NOT AN OPTION SORRY
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
he spent an hour trying to rescue a bug from the sink. turned out to be a sesame seed.
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
Randomize
