apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
just put a funnel in my mouth and pour the tequila in with a little emergen-c
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
Yo I'm texting you while getting a bj. I know, I'm the man. Told her I was texting my mom in the hospital.
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes.
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
I'm literally beginning to think that my sex dreams are prophesies
The hat, the beard, the hard posing - like who does he think he is?
A bag of dicks
That's dating life
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
Randomize