Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
Now that my 6 day bender is behind me, I just realized I might have been the one who took a shit in our mailbox that past few days.
I shouldn't have to thank you for taking off your captain hat off before we had sex
Disasters an understatement. Hurricane alpha chi omega hit. On my way to buy carpet cleaner, super glue, and a new liver. Be back soon.
Grandpa got a dui while riding a horse. This is what I need to live up to.
There's going to be a velveeta shortage. I'm not drunk any more, this is just dire info.
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
And no one can masturbate with the sound of Bernie's voice in the background
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
He shit in the fireplace
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
i'd like to schedule a penis for 4pm please.
Randomize
