Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
Just realized our kids will one day call us old because we were around when texting came about. I'm sad.
She told me to "stuff her hole like a build-a-bear". I was so drunk I didn't even think that was weird.
just upper decked a verizon store cause they don't cover against "getting phone crushed by a keg." had to pay 175 for a new one
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
I don't know if it's the amount i drank last night or the number of taylor swift statuses on facebook but i feel like puking everywhere
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
Don't forget ur talking to the master juggler. Remember that time I slept with 3 guys and made them all pay for plan b? Paid the rent didn't I?
Uh yeah can we get an age of consent check on Dave's penis?
Age of consent, Dave's penis. Thank you...
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
My friend asked me if I got home okay and I replied "Glad teat. Goodnight." Usually I can translate drunk me, but I'm even lost on that one.
He's pretending to be my boyfriend so that my family won't bother us when we sneak off to smoke weed
long story short, he tried to fuck me standing up, toppled over, and now I have four stitches next to my eye
Randomize
