shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
based on who turned up here tonight the whole evening should just be called "mistakes i made when i was fat"
she looked like the bat from fern gully.
i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
Those two lesbians inspired me. A whole new way to roll. Fuck shots. Gallons of vodka is the new tequila.
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
Donating $10 to Sandy victims for every hurricane I drink tomorrow. Buying me alcohol just became a good cause.
And literally 4loko margaritas are callin my name. They're like "Hey girl come on over here I'll make you forget about grades and boys and it'll be a good idea to send everyone 55 snapchats of your cleavage" ok
I think I'm drunk at the airport. Oh the possibilities
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
I threw up in a flower pot outside the bar last night and have a date tonight....I think I missed something
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
There is nothing wrong with watching parks and rec all day then getting blackout drunk by night
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
Randomize
