So it's 11:24am. I've had sex twice and been laid 3 times. I love holidays!
I understand the whole sex thing but did you really get laid or is that synonymous for more alcohol?????
Honestly.
Don't say a word.
You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
Hey, can you come over and kill me real quick
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
I told her the job opening requires being on the phone during the week and on my face on the weekends. I think she wants the job.
I'm getting turned down for sex. Apparently my "sexual appetite" cannot be satiated even by a man who's such a deviant he went to prison for jerking off in his car.
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
I feel my soul being ripped out of my eye sockets
Can I put tequila in the fish bowl? I think he wants to party too
I haven't gotten dressed in 4 days. God bless you, unemployment.
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
Randomize
