Dibs on passing out in front of the toilet.
my passenger side seat is covered in alcoholic jello with a nude mannequin in it
This hangover is way worse than all my relationships
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
Someone woke me up and gave me a sprite and some pills. I put them in my belly button. Trust no one.
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
The pastor just stopped the sermon to lay hands on me. THAT hungover.
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
I JUST WATCHED PAULA DEEN PUT BUTTER IN HER BLOODY MARY. This is not a drill. Real life.
So I'm about to drive his drunk ass home and he spits on my car. Before I can say, "Dude, what the fuck?!", he puts his finger to my lips and goes "shhh, its in the past."
I'm sun burnt so instead of getting drunk and trying to sleep with you, how about we get naked and you scratch my body and rub lotion on me while I rub one out?
All I wanted was a couple of orgasms before work, is that too much to ask?!
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
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