I just fell asleep with a sandwich in my mouth at Cosi..people definitely saw
I don't know what's worse, the fact that my parents own a sex swing or the fact that my little cousin was playing on it
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
As I sit on the toilet at 4 am I realize tonight could have gone a lot better
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
She must've been waiting down the street cause after I said I specialized in inner-thigh-face-massage it couldn't have been 2 minutes until she was on my couch.
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
When you get this divorce finalized we're going to mid evil times AND pirate dining adventure. We're gonna find you a couple of real men and make them joust/swashbuckle for your affection. My treat.
My lease is up and I've been thinking, it's only fair that the guys I've fucked in this apartment in the past year help me move. They enjoyed the bed, now help me move it.
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
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