After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
i feel so shallow. people in iran are using twitter to write hardcore nathan hale shit about dying for freedom. my last tweet was "i hate the taco shits"
It's like she bought one bad life decision and got one free
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
i ordered 12 mcnuggets at mcdonalds and ended up getting 20. for free. miracles really do happen when your high.
I wish I could sell my textbooks directly to my drug dealer and cut out the middle man
He will not just "come" out of the closet. He will fall out, 69ing me, with two fingers in his starving asshole, wearing cum splattered lady gaga sunglasses, weeping.
That was the greatest thing i have ever read.
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
This is God's way of telling me He loves me and wants me to be a cocktease.
Go forth my daughter and give blue balls to all who may gaze upon your tits.
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
Tried to figure out where I was without opening my eyes this morning for like twenty minutes. Not even close. Not even the right state.
You peed in my kitchen, while crying and insisting my floor was a toilet.
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
Randomize
