I feel like tequila is Gods way of lighting my fuse to do something awesome
He spent most of his night trying to convince people that he had changed and was no longer a sleazebag...he had his nut hanging out of his pants about an hour later.
i'm surprised you didn't wake up. like i literally came when he was fingering me as i was spooning with you and all you did was mumble "that's a good idea, mom" and pull the sheets away from me.
Hey we met at the bar a week ago. Your friend gave me a rose and you asked about my nipples.
That's because "bed time" is my sex playlist. If you're trying to fall asleep use "nap time"
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
its like my brain is a tree and you are those little cookie elves
I ran into him drunk, barefoot, at rite aid and he said I looked "stunning." Yeah, Stunningly shitfaced haha
I can't find the remote or the Doritos. Someone call 911. S.O.S. I sent this in Braille.
I'm suffering a hangover from deep within. I feel like the half of the parts of my body are permanently laced with alcoholic substances
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
Mid-fucking he screams "YOU CAN'T VOTE FOR TRUMP"
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
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